A Letter From Mama
Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Recently, the economy is so bad here, the major industry is jury duty.
I have been doing our family genealogy. It may come as a surprise to you, but some of your ancestors were not very smart. I just found out that during the Civil War, your great great grandfather fought for the West.
I know you have tried hard all of your life, but have had problems. When you were born, the doctor said he did everything he could do, but you pulled through anyway. He took one look at your face, turned you over and said, “Look, twins!” I even had morning sickness after you were born. I always tried to give you the best. You were even breast fed, through a straw.
I am glad to hear that you finally have a girlfriend. It was nice of her to buy you a present for your birthday. But why would she say a down jacket fit your personality?
Dottie Clot’s funeral was yesterday. You’ll remember she had a very long nose. Well, recently she caught a bad cold. One night last week, she rolled over in her sleep, got her nose caught in her ear, sneezed and blew her brains out. It was a beautiful funeral and she looked good. The red casket matched her eyes.
Orville Mudd just had his 60th birthday. His wife told Ima Gooch he was a sexagenarian. Ima said, “Imagine… at his age, too!”
Well, must close for now. Our mayor, Seymor Hills, is leading a meeting at the Hootin Holler Town Hall. They are considering changing our Zip Code to E-I-E-I-O.
Love,
Mama
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Recently, the economy is so bad here, the major industry is jury duty.
I have been doing our family genealogy. It may come as a surprise to you, but some of your ancestors were not very smart. I just found out that during the Civil War, your great great grandfather fought for the West.
I know you have tried hard all of your life, but have had problems. When you were born, the doctor said he did everything he could do, but you pulled through anyway. He took one look at your face, turned you over and said, “Look, twins!” I even had morning sickness after you were born. I always tried to give you the best. You were even breast fed, through a straw.
I am glad to hear that you finally have a girlfriend. It was nice of her to buy you a present for your birthday. But why would she say a down jacket fit your personality?
Dottie Clot’s funeral was yesterday. You’ll remember she had a very long nose. Well, recently she caught a bad cold. One night last week, she rolled over in her sleep, got her nose caught in her ear, sneezed and blew her brains out. It was a beautiful funeral and she looked good. The red casket matched her eyes.
Orville Mudd just had his 60th birthday. His wife told Ima Gooch he was a sexagenarian. Ima said, “Imagine… at his age, too!”
Well, must close for now. Our mayor, Seymor Hills, is leading a meeting at the Hootin Holler Town Hall. They are considering changing our Zip Code to E-I-E-I-O.
Love,
Mama
posted by The Joker at 10:42 PM
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