Letter From Mama
Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same in Hootin Holler. But I am beginning to feel my age. The other day I looked in my address book and realized that most of the names there began with Doctor. I don’t want to complain, but it is getting longer to rest than it takes to get tired. The other night your father and I had a night out. Out on the deck. That’s all we had the energy for.
Dottie Bullwinkle said that Hillary Clinton plans to run for President in four years. She says isn’t it strange that the Democrats just lost one election and are already working on losing another one.
Kinglsey Regal came over the other day for some advice on completing one of those dating surveys. One of the questions was how he wanted to be seen by the opposite sex, and he thought for a moment and asked me how to spell “smart.” Your father says Kingley’s IQ is one point lower than it takes to grunt.
Harley Corn went to see his psychiatrist again last week. He has major problems. Harley told the psychiatrist that everyone hated him. The psychiatrist told him not to be ridiculous, that everyone had not met him yet. Harley is very modest and truly has every reason to be that way. He told your father that he wanted to find a paranoid’s anonymous meeting to attend, but they would not tell him where it was held.
Granny Gonk went to see her doctor the other day and took all of her medications with her. When the doctor saw that one of them was for birth control pills, he asked her about them. Granny told him they helped her sleep at night. It seems every morning she grinds one up and mixes in a glass of orange juice for her 18-year-old granddaughter, and that helps Granny sleep at night.
Herman Glotz told your father and me that he was tired of people hunting on his land without permission. To stop it, he said he posted a sign that said, “No trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.”
Well, time to close. Your father says to tell you if it is true that money can’t make you happy, he would like the chance to prove it.
Love,
Mama
Things are much the same in Hootin Holler. But I am beginning to feel my age. The other day I looked in my address book and realized that most of the names there began with Doctor. I don’t want to complain, but it is getting longer to rest than it takes to get tired. The other night your father and I had a night out. Out on the deck. That’s all we had the energy for.
Dottie Bullwinkle said that Hillary Clinton plans to run for President in four years. She says isn’t it strange that the Democrats just lost one election and are already working on losing another one.
Kinglsey Regal came over the other day for some advice on completing one of those dating surveys. One of the questions was how he wanted to be seen by the opposite sex, and he thought for a moment and asked me how to spell “smart.” Your father says Kingley’s IQ is one point lower than it takes to grunt.
Harley Corn went to see his psychiatrist again last week. He has major problems. Harley told the psychiatrist that everyone hated him. The psychiatrist told him not to be ridiculous, that everyone had not met him yet. Harley is very modest and truly has every reason to be that way. He told your father that he wanted to find a paranoid’s anonymous meeting to attend, but they would not tell him where it was held.
Granny Gonk went to see her doctor the other day and took all of her medications with her. When the doctor saw that one of them was for birth control pills, he asked her about them. Granny told him they helped her sleep at night. It seems every morning she grinds one up and mixes in a glass of orange juice for her 18-year-old granddaughter, and that helps Granny sleep at night.
Herman Glotz told your father and me that he was tired of people hunting on his land without permission. To stop it, he said he posted a sign that said, “No trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.”
Well, time to close. Your father says to tell you if it is true that money can’t make you happy, he would like the chance to prove it.
Love,
Mama
posted by The Joker at 10:54 PM
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