A Letter From Mama
Dear Alvis:
I hope things are well with you. Recently, it has been so hot here that the birds have had to use oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground. And all the best parking spaces are based on shade, not on distance.
Bee Brown told me that yesterday her husband went fishing again. He seems to fish all the time, so I asked her if all of his fishing bothered her. She said, “Oh my, No. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and you get rid of him for a whole weekend.
Joe Gump told your father he asked his boss for a raise last week. It seems he told his boss that three companies were after him. When his boss asked what companies were after him, Joe told him, “The gas company, the electric company and the phone company.”
Granny Nelson recently went to the doctor because she wasn’t feeling well. The doctor gave her some pills to take, one in the morning with a glass of water, one at noon with a glass of water and one in the evening with a glass of water. When Granny asked what was wrong with her, the doctor told her she wasn’t drinking enough water.
Elsie Krack’s husband died last week. Elsie told us he went out to the garden to get a cabbage for dinner and dropped dead right in the garden. We asked Elsie what she did when that happened, and she told us she opened a can of peas instead.
This morning your father and I had a disagreement. Finally, he told me he wanted to compromise, and he would admit he was wrong, if I would admit he was right. I agreed, and since it was his idea, I let him go first. He told me he was wrong, and I told him he was right.
Well, must close for now. Remember that old hornet’s nest behind our house? Well, your father just went out to see if there were still hornets in it. There were.
Love,
Mama
I hope things are well with you. Recently, it has been so hot here that the birds have had to use oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground. And all the best parking spaces are based on shade, not on distance.
Bee Brown told me that yesterday her husband went fishing again. He seems to fish all the time, so I asked her if all of his fishing bothered her. She said, “Oh my, No. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and you get rid of him for a whole weekend.
Joe Gump told your father he asked his boss for a raise last week. It seems he told his boss that three companies were after him. When his boss asked what companies were after him, Joe told him, “The gas company, the electric company and the phone company.”
Granny Nelson recently went to the doctor because she wasn’t feeling well. The doctor gave her some pills to take, one in the morning with a glass of water, one at noon with a glass of water and one in the evening with a glass of water. When Granny asked what was wrong with her, the doctor told her she wasn’t drinking enough water.
Elsie Krack’s husband died last week. Elsie told us he went out to the garden to get a cabbage for dinner and dropped dead right in the garden. We asked Elsie what she did when that happened, and she told us she opened a can of peas instead.
This morning your father and I had a disagreement. Finally, he told me he wanted to compromise, and he would admit he was wrong, if I would admit he was right. I agreed, and since it was his idea, I let him go first. He told me he was wrong, and I told him he was right.
Well, must close for now. Remember that old hornet’s nest behind our house? Well, your father just went out to see if there were still hornets in it. There were.
Love,
Mama
posted by The Joker at 8:53 PM
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