Letter From Mama
Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Sometimes I wonder if things can get any worse. Then your father cheers me up by saying, you are never given more than you can handle, unless you die from something.
Lazlo Thomas came to the house the other day for a visit. He is still as lazy as ever. Lazlo says he believes in living life as simply as possible by filling what is empty, emptying what is full, scratching what itches and going to sleep when he is tired. Lazlo told us that starting tomorrow he intends to procrastinate more. Your father says Lazlo speaks his mind because he has nothing to lose. He also says, with Lazlo, after all is said and done, more is said than done. He works harder at avoiding work than the work itself. You know, Lazlo once got kicked out of a correspondence school because he figured out a way to cut classes. He sent in empty envelopes.
Buster Oweings and his wife Ima are getting a divorce. Seems she told him he needed to be more affectionate, so he got two girlfriends. Buster told your father that marriage was an expensive way to get your laundry done.
Kinglsey Regal came over the other day. You know he is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He told your father that he thought the English Channel was something you watched on Cable TV. His wife obviously married him for his good looks. Kingsley said that there have been a lot of wrong number phone calls recently at his house. Some guy keeps calling and asking if the coast is clear.
Well, must go and help your father. He climbed that old elm tree out back to see if a branch would support his hammock. It didn’t.
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Sometimes I wonder if things can get any worse. Then your father cheers me up by saying, you are never given more than you can handle, unless you die from something.
Lazlo Thomas came to the house the other day for a visit. He is still as lazy as ever. Lazlo says he believes in living life as simply as possible by filling what is empty, emptying what is full, scratching what itches and going to sleep when he is tired. Lazlo told us that starting tomorrow he intends to procrastinate more. Your father says Lazlo speaks his mind because he has nothing to lose. He also says, with Lazlo, after all is said and done, more is said than done. He works harder at avoiding work than the work itself. You know, Lazlo once got kicked out of a correspondence school because he figured out a way to cut classes. He sent in empty envelopes.
Buster Oweings and his wife Ima are getting a divorce. Seems she told him he needed to be more affectionate, so he got two girlfriends. Buster told your father that marriage was an expensive way to get your laundry done.
Kinglsey Regal came over the other day. You know he is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He told your father that he thought the English Channel was something you watched on Cable TV. His wife obviously married him for his good looks. Kingsley said that there have been a lot of wrong number phone calls recently at his house. Some guy keeps calling and asking if the coast is clear.
Well, must go and help your father. He climbed that old elm tree out back to see if a branch would support his hammock. It didn’t.
posted by The Joker at 10:04 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home