Dear Alvis Letter
Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Your dad says, “You know things are bad when your charge card and your belt both hit their limits.” He also says, “If the rich could hire people to die for them, the folks in Hootin Holler would make a wonderful living.”
John and Thelma Bedess our next-door neighbors have been fighting a lot lately. John told your father that you should never go to bed angry; you should stay up and fight.” He said he was worried about the future of their marriage because Thelma wanted to tell him something, on Jerry Springer. He says if love is blind, marriage is a real eye opener. And if it weren’t for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
Julie Trump came for a visit yesterday. She told me she is dating still another married man. Says she enjoys dating married men because they don’t want anything kinky, like breakfast. She told me her sister Sue broke up with the guy she was dating because he wanted to get married, and she didn’t want him to.
Kinglsey Regal came over again the other day for some advice on dating. He said he is tired of trying to find a date in singles bars. Says he finds plenty of pigs, skunks and dogs, but no foxes. Kingsley told your father he moved around from stool to stool in a singles bar the other night, and the only thing he found interesting was some used gum. Kingsley is not the smartest guy in the world. He says he doesn’t have a bank account because he doesn’t know his mother’s maiden name.
Harley Corn went to see his psychiatrist again last week. He told the psychiatrist that he needed someone to date while he was looking for someone to love. Said he dated this woman who evidently was psychic, cause she broke up with him before they met.
Well got to go and help your father. We have had a lot of rain lately and Hootin Creek has been flooded. Your father drove the pickup down there to see if the water was low enough to drive through. It wasn’t.
Love,
Mama
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Your dad says, “You know things are bad when your charge card and your belt both hit their limits.” He also says, “If the rich could hire people to die for them, the folks in Hootin Holler would make a wonderful living.”
John and Thelma Bedess our next-door neighbors have been fighting a lot lately. John told your father that you should never go to bed angry; you should stay up and fight.” He said he was worried about the future of their marriage because Thelma wanted to tell him something, on Jerry Springer. He says if love is blind, marriage is a real eye opener. And if it weren’t for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
Julie Trump came for a visit yesterday. She told me she is dating still another married man. Says she enjoys dating married men because they don’t want anything kinky, like breakfast. She told me her sister Sue broke up with the guy she was dating because he wanted to get married, and she didn’t want him to.
Kinglsey Regal came over again the other day for some advice on dating. He said he is tired of trying to find a date in singles bars. Says he finds plenty of pigs, skunks and dogs, but no foxes. Kingsley told your father he moved around from stool to stool in a singles bar the other night, and the only thing he found interesting was some used gum. Kingsley is not the smartest guy in the world. He says he doesn’t have a bank account because he doesn’t know his mother’s maiden name.
Harley Corn went to see his psychiatrist again last week. He told the psychiatrist that he needed someone to date while he was looking for someone to love. Said he dated this woman who evidently was psychic, cause she broke up with him before they met.
Well got to go and help your father. We have had a lot of rain lately and Hootin Creek has been flooded. Your father drove the pickup down there to see if the water was low enough to drive through. It wasn’t.
Love,
Mama
posted by The Joker at 8:02 AM
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