A New Letter From Hootin Holler

Dear Alvis:

Things are much the same here at Hootin Holler. Lately, things are so bad, when they advertise things on the radio with no payments and no interest, we have no interest. Our mayor, Seymor Hills, bless his heart, tries to make us feel better. He is fond of saying, “Cheer up, most of our future lies ahead.” Your father says to take everything in stride because sometimes life is something you can’t live with our without. His attitude is not to torture yourself about life, because life will do that for you anyway.

Harley Corn is still seeing his psychiatrist. It does not seem to be helping him to be more positive about life. He told the psychiatrist that in life you had to take the bitter with the sour. Harley says that is a dog-eat-dog world and all of his life, he has worn dog food clothes. Your father told me, if Harley had wanted to be somebody, he should have been more specific.

Speaking of clothes, Idris Bean recently broke up with her boyfriend. It seems she found out he was a Naturist, when he invited her to go with him to a nudist camp. Betty refused, and they had a parting of the ways. Betty says if God had wanted people to go naked, he wouldn’t have given us clothes.

Lazlo Thomas finally got a job, but was fired from it after one day. It seems he told his boss what he thought of him. Your father says if you tell your boss the truth, the truth will set you free.

Well, must go and help your father. Yesterday, he examined some plants in our backyard to see if they were Poison Ivy. They were.
Love,
Mama