Feeling Our Age

Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. Your father and I are beginning to feel our age. Last week, we went to an antique auction, and someone bid on us. Your father says, “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” At our age in Hootin Holler, a night on the town takes about 10 minutes. Lately, we have had Sometimers. Sometimes we remember and sometimes we forget.

Do you remember the June family? They named all of their kids with odd names. The oldest daughter was named, Enda. The next one was named, Itsa. Well, the youngest daughter, April May, came over last week for a visit. She is the only one without an odd name. April May has gained weight since we last saw her. She was wearing sweat pants and what looked like be a large sleep shirt with “Visit Booger Holler” printed on the front. Your father said any woman who would wear a shirt like that has given up on having a relationship with a man.

Lazlo Thomas is still as lazy as ever. I swear that man would walk two miles to avoid work. Your father says it must be hard for him to do nothing all of the time because he never knows when he is finished. He said Lazlo told him one of the nice things about doing nothing is there was always something to do.

Well, got to go now and help your father. He went out picking black berries yesterday and wasn’t sure if there would be any chiggers in them. There were.

Love,

Mama