Mama Writes to Alvis
Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same here at Hootin Holler. It seems like every day your father and I wake up with a new ache and pain. There is a good side to this, I guess. Your father days that after a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
The other day, your father and I ran in to Greg Humpty at the Hootin Holler General Store. We never were too friendly with Greg because his family has a bad reputation. Things seem to disappear when the Humptys are around. And Greg is one of the worst ones. Your father says he’s so sneaky, he can follow you into a revolving door and come out first. He makes you wish birth control was retroactive. The Humptys get ready to make chicken soup by stealing a chicken.
Lazlo Thomas and his fiance, Soupie, came over last night to visit. Lazlo is still as lazy as ever. And now Soupie isn’t much better. Your father says it must be hard to do nothing all of the time, cause you never know when you are finished. Lazlo has a new scheme he is working on. He is trying to sell his body to science before he dies. Your father says Lazlo will keep on trying whether science wants it or not. He always did have a dry sense of humor.
Rumor has it that Edna Ample was afraid her husband, Big, was having an affair because he was very late coming home from work one night last week. Edna is supposed to have felt much better when a friend said he probably just had an accident.
Must go now and see about helping your father. He wanted to cut down the old walnut tree in our backyard without it falling on anything. He didn’t.
Things are much the same here at Hootin Holler. It seems like every day your father and I wake up with a new ache and pain. There is a good side to this, I guess. Your father days that after a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
The other day, your father and I ran in to Greg Humpty at the Hootin Holler General Store. We never were too friendly with Greg because his family has a bad reputation. Things seem to disappear when the Humptys are around. And Greg is one of the worst ones. Your father says he’s so sneaky, he can follow you into a revolving door and come out first. He makes you wish birth control was retroactive. The Humptys get ready to make chicken soup by stealing a chicken.
Lazlo Thomas and his fiance, Soupie, came over last night to visit. Lazlo is still as lazy as ever. And now Soupie isn’t much better. Your father says it must be hard to do nothing all of the time, cause you never know when you are finished. Lazlo has a new scheme he is working on. He is trying to sell his body to science before he dies. Your father says Lazlo will keep on trying whether science wants it or not. He always did have a dry sense of humor.
Rumor has it that Edna Ample was afraid her husband, Big, was having an affair because he was very late coming home from work one night last week. Edna is supposed to have felt much better when a friend said he probably just had an accident.
Must go now and see about helping your father. He wanted to cut down the old walnut tree in our backyard without it falling on anything. He didn’t.
posted by The Joker at 9:59 PM
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