Another Letter From Mama

Dear Alvis:

Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. . Your father says the only two things we do with greater frequency at our age is go to the bathroom and attend funerals. Lately, your father and I are feeling our age. Yesterday, he mentioned buying me a treadmill. He said he wanted to buy it not because he thought I needed the exercise, but because he wanted me to have a reason to breathe heavily again. Wasn’t that sweet of him? Gracious sakes, I do love that man.

Last week, your father and I had the flu. I’ll tell you, we both were really sick. I felt so bad, I thought I was going to die and was afraid I wouldn’t. We were finally able to go the Hootin Holler General Store to do some shopping. While there, we ran into Lazlo Thomas. He still is as lazy as ever. He told us he was going to look for a job “tomorrow”. Now, he must have told us the same thing a dozen times. Your father says Lazlo thinks tomorrow is one today’s great labor saving devices.

Well, must go and help your father. He went out to the barn to see if the spider webs out there belonged to Recluse Spiders. They did.

Love,
Mama