A Letter From Mama

Dear Alvis:

Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. The economy is so bad here, we have been receiving Care Packages from Africa. Recently, we had to take the money we were saving for a used pickup truck and go and blow it on groceries.

While we were buying groceries, we saw Lazlo Thomas at the Hootin Holler General Store. He is still as lazy as ever. Ever since Lazlo’s been old enough to work, he didn’t. But that is not truly accurate. Lazlo has had several jobs with the same result—hired, tired, fired. When it comes to work, Lazlo will stop at nothing. He says he has liked all of his jobs. It’s the work he hates.

Harley Corn is still going to the psychiatrist. Harley says his psychiatrist is so good, he always finds something wrong with him. Now he seems to have cured Harley of most of his money. Harley told the psychiatrist that he was afraid of dying, and the doctor told Harley that was the last thing he would do.

Elmo Bean has started dating twins. It seems his last girlfriend told him he needed to be more affectionate.

Well, must go and help your father. He went to a beaver lodge on Hootin Holler creek and stuck his hand underwater to see if there were still beavers living in it. There were.

Love,
Mama