Things Are The Same
Dear Alvis:
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. It keeps getting harder and harder to make ends meet. Your father says, with our luck if our ship ever does come in, we will be at the airport. And every day we seem to get more aches and pains. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Lately, your father and I still can work hard, but when we sit, we fall asleep. But why worry. Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Molly Piles came over for a visit the other day. She took me aside and asked me for some advice. She told me she has a terrible problem with gas. She said, fortunately it is always silent, but wanted to know what she should do. I told her the first thing I thought she should do was to have her hearing checked.
Your father said this reminded him of the story about the man, who made a sound like "honda" every time he passed gas. When he finally went to a Proctologist, who said he had an abscess. It seems thatin Japan, where the doctor came from, there was even an old saying about it, "Abscess makes the fart go 'honda'.
Speaking of old sayings, many are not true any more. Remember the old saying that goes, "Hay... straw's cheaper, and grass is free."? Well, that is no longer true. Straw is more expensive than hay. And the old saying about getting more flies with honey than you can with vinegar has bothered me for years, because you can get more flies with manure than either of the other two! And how about the saying about leading a horse to water, but not making him drink. I think you can only point a horse in the general direction of water. Your father says it does help to salt the horse's hay--which is now cheaper than straw.
Well, have to go now. Your father just went out on the rocks on the edge of Lookout Cliff to see if there was still ice on them. There was.
Love,
Mama
Things are much the same here in Hootin Holler. It keeps getting harder and harder to make ends meet. Your father says, with our luck if our ship ever does come in, we will be at the airport. And every day we seem to get more aches and pains. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Lately, your father and I still can work hard, but when we sit, we fall asleep. But why worry. Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Molly Piles came over for a visit the other day. She took me aside and asked me for some advice. She told me she has a terrible problem with gas. She said, fortunately it is always silent, but wanted to know what she should do. I told her the first thing I thought she should do was to have her hearing checked.
Your father said this reminded him of the story about the man, who made a sound like "honda" every time he passed gas. When he finally went to a Proctologist, who said he had an abscess. It seems thatin Japan, where the doctor came from, there was even an old saying about it, "Abscess makes the fart go 'honda'.
Speaking of old sayings, many are not true any more. Remember the old saying that goes, "Hay... straw's cheaper, and grass is free."? Well, that is no longer true. Straw is more expensive than hay. And the old saying about getting more flies with honey than you can with vinegar has bothered me for years, because you can get more flies with manure than either of the other two! And how about the saying about leading a horse to water, but not making him drink. I think you can only point a horse in the general direction of water. Your father says it does help to salt the horse's hay--which is now cheaper than straw.
Well, have to go now. Your father just went out on the rocks on the edge of Lookout Cliff to see if there was still ice on them. There was.
Love,
Mama
posted by The Joker at 8:19 AM
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